My Fitness Journey

For most of my life, I have struggled with my body image. I can remember looking at myself in the mirror as young as 10 years old, and thinking of myself in a destructive and negative light. I have fought many battles with my mental health over the years, including an ADHD diagnosis, anxiety & depression, hospitalization from suicidal thoughts, and an eating disorder that overshadowed five years of my youth.

I’m not revealing these things to say that fitness and working out cured me of these ailments. I’m not saying that losing weight or ‘getting in shape’ turned me into a better person. But I am saying that at some point I had to take control. When I truly began to commit to structured exercise, it was for the wrong reasons. It was to ‘look better,’ in an attempt to use a subjective construct to redefine my self worth.

But when I actually achieved the results I wanted, the feelings didn’t leave, and I wasn’t any happier with myself. It took many years of practice, and patience, to realize that the true power of physical training mostly comes not from the visual results, but from the abilities you gain to take control in your life. Yes, it feels good to look in the mirror and see the physical transformations that you’ve achieved. But it feels much better to look in the mirror and see a person looking back who has gained discipline, and knowledge, and control over their physical being in a way that reflects a massive amount of hard work and dedication.